2 Sam 13:1-3
1 And it came to pass after this, that Absalom the son of David had a fair sister, whose name was Tamar; and Amnon the son of David loved her.
2 And Amnon was so vexed, that he fell sick for his sister Tamar; for she was a virgin; and Amnon thought it hard for him to do anything to her.
3 But Amnon had a friend...
A. AMNON'S PERSONAL PROBLEM
1. Amnon had a personal problem that he was dealing with.
2. He lusted after his own half-sister, Tamar.
3. But he refused to court her because it would be too much of an embarrassment.
4. He wanted her, but he knew it wasn't proper.
B. AMNON'S PERSONAL FRIEND
1. By himself, Amnon would have never acted on his lust.
2. Amnon's thoughts were filthy, perverse, and sinful.
3. He knew that it was wrong.
4. Verse 2 tells us, "...it was hard for him to do anything to her!"
5. He would have never touched her on his own.
6. BUT AMNON HAD A FRIEND!
I. CONSIDER WHAT KEPT AMNON FROM SINNING
A. AMNON HAD A REPUTATION
1. Amnon was the King's son.
2. He was well favored.
3. He had all the silver and gold he could ever want.
4. He was royalty.
5. He was a prince!
6. When Amnon considered his reputation, it stopped him from sinning
7. BUT AMNON HAD A FRIEND!
B. AMNON WAS EDUCATED
1. He knew the law.
2. He knew the Word of God.
3. His own father, King David, had penned these words, "Wherewithal
shall a young man cleanse his way? by taking thereto according to thy
4. Amnon had an education in God's Word and it had kept him from sinning.
5. Because he knew God's word, it was hard for him to do anything to his sister.
6. BUT AMNON HAD A FRIEND!
C. AMNON HAD A CONSCIENCE
1. He had never done anything like this before.
2. He was not the type do such perverted things.
3. His conscience had stopped him and prevented him from sinning in the past.
4. When verse 2 says he thought it hard to do anything to Tamar, that was his conscience.
5. His conscience would have stopped him this time too
6. BUT AMNON HAD A FRIEND!
7. Due to the influence of Amnon's friend, Amnon raped his own sister and brought
shame on himself, on his sister, and on his whole family.
II. CONSIDER THE RESULTS OF AMNON'S SIN
A. THE RESULTS ON TAMAR
1. Verse 20 tells us, "So Tamar remained desolate in her brother Absalom's house."
2. She never fell in love.
3. She never had normal affections for a man.
4. She never had children.
5. She was emotionally scarred for the rest of her life.
6. Her life was ruined
7. This wasn't supposed to happen to her, "BUT AMNON HAD A FRIEND!"
B. THE RESULTS ON ABSALOM
1. Absalom was Tamar's brother.
2. Absalom was destined to ascend to the throne of his father, King David.
3. Absalom was a wise judge who served under his father the King.
4. But, Absalom burned with hatred towards his brother Amnon for sinning against his sister.
5. Absalom devised a plan to get his revenge.
6. He had a party and invited Amnon.
7. There he killed Amnon, then he fled from the possible wrath of his own father, King David.
8. From then on, Absalom, (who would have been king) was now a rebel!
9. Absalom was destined for much better things, BUT AMNON HAD A FRIEND!
III. WHAT KIND OF FRIENDS DO YOU HAVE?
A. THE INFLUENCE OF FRIENDS
1. Amos 3:3 "Can two walk together unless they be agreed?"
2. The obvious answer is NO!
3. First part of Prov.13:20 "He that walketh with wise men shall be wise..."
4. Second part Prov.13:20 "...but a companion of fools shall be destroyed."
B. GO TO ONE WHO IS ON DOPE
1. Find someone standing on the corner of Central Ave. in Albuquerque down in the war zone.
2. See the red marks up and down his arm from doing drugs.
3. Ask him, "When did you first start doing drugs?"
4. Most will say, "When I was in high school, I had this friend..."
5. He never would have started doing drugs, BUT HE HAD A FRIEND!
C. GO TO ONE WHO IS AN ALCOHOLIC
1. Go to the Hiway 47 bar at 2:00 am on a Saturday morning when the drunks are going home.
2. You see men whose eyes are so blood shot that they look like a New Mexico state map.
3. You ask him, "When did you take your first drink?"
4. He will say, "Well, I was back in Jr. High School and I had this friend..."
5. He never would have become an alcoholic, BUT HE HAD A FRIEND!
D. GO TO ONE WHO IS ADDICTED TO TOBACCO
1. Go to the respiratory ward of a hospital.
2. There you will find people suffering from the effects of years of smoking cigarettes.
3. You ask one of them, "When did you start smoking?"
4. He will say, "Back when I was 17 years old, I had a friend that I worked with..."
5. Today he wrestles with a habit that has him in a death grip.
6. He thought he was smoking cigarettes, but they were smoking him!
7. He never would have smoked his first cigarette, BUT HE HAD A FRIEND!
E. SHOW ME YOUR FRIENDS, I'LL SHOW YOU YOUR
1. As Amos 3:3 says, You can't walk together with them if you don't agree.
2. If you DO agree, then you will be just like them.
3. So, show me your friends and I'll show you your spiritual direction.
4. Show me your friends and I'll show you what habits you will soon have.
5. Show me your friends and I'll show you your future.
6. I have four children and I make it a point to know their friends.
F. BIRDS OF A FEATHER FLOCK TOGETHER
1. Young people seem to have built in radars to detect their own kind.
2. Drop a young person off at our church on youth night and they go right to their own kind.
3. If they are trouble makers, they will flock with the trouble makers.
4. If they are wanna-be bad-boys, they will flock to their own group.
5. If they are good solid Christians, they will flock to the young people who are serving God.
6. Drop Big Pat off at a church youth group:
a) Does he go hang out with the gang members? NO
b) Does he go hang out with those who just came to watch the girls? NO
c) He goes to the ones who are doing the ministry.
d) He flocks to those who have a servant's heart.
e) He attends every service, he plays the drums, he prays in the altars, somehow
he goes on all the church mission trips in spite of being from a low income family.
f) He doesn't flock with the TURKEYS, he flies with the EAGLES!
7. I had a father tell me, "I just don't know what's wrong with my daughter..."
a) I said, "I can tell you exactly what's wrong with her."
b) She's hanging out with a bunch of kids who have a rotten attitude.
c) Her family brings her to our Christian school
d) They do their best to make sure she does the right things.
e) They keep her fed, dressed, and in a good home.
f) But they don't feel they have a right to tell her who her friends can be.
g) There's a Greek word for that! It's called BALONEY!
h) They have a right... no a responsibility to say who will have an influence on their child.
IV. SOME FRIENDS GIVE POOR COUNSEL
A. AMNON'S FRIEND WAS A MATURE MAN
1. Jonadab was older than Amnon.
2. Jonadab was a mature man.
3. It would seem that Jonadab would give good counsel to Amnon.
4. But, Jonadab wasn't interested in helping Amnon to remain pure.
5. Jonadab was more interested in pleasing Amnon than in truly helping Amnon.
6. Jonadab counseled Amnon to fulfill the lust of the flesh when he should have
been helping him control such lust.
7. Jonadab could have spoken a word of caution, but he spoke a message of perversion.
B. SOMETIMES MATURE FRIENDS GIVE IMMATURE ADVICE
1. A few years ago a woman came into my office to talk about her son.
2. She was so pleased with the progress he had made since he had started coming to our church.
3. She was happy with the influence we were having on him.
4. Then she said, "I'm just worried about what's going to happen to him when I leave..."
5. I said, "What do you mean?"
6. She said, "I'm going to leave my husband. I just don't love him anymore."
7. I begged her not to.
8. She said, "You just don't understand!"
9. I said:
a) I understand your marriage vows
b) I understand God's Word concerning divorce
c) I understand that this is SIN
d) I understand the effect that this will have on your family!
10. She said, "I HAVE THIS FRIEND who has been helping me..."
11. I HAD GOD'S WORD but SHE HAD A FRIEND!
V. SOME FRIENDS TAKE ADVANTAGE OF YOU!
A. THE DEADLY
1. Once I read a story about two boys who went by to pick up a young girl.
2. The girl's father said NO and told them to leave.
3. The boys got smart with him and they peeled out when they left.
4. Later, they drove by several times shouting curse words and throwing bottles out the window.
5. When they grew bored with this, they went downtown.
6. They just happened to find a friend downtown and they invited him to cruise around with them.
7. They didn't have anything constructive to do, so they drove by the girl's house one more time.
8. The girl's father was outside behind a bush with a rifle
a) He had had enough
b) He shot into the car as it went by
c) He hit the boy who was in the back seat
d) The boy who was just along for the ride
e) Along with his FRIENDS!
B. THE DUDE COMES TO CHURCH
1. We have kids who come to this church and walk in here like they own this place.
2. They used to really annoy me, but now they simply amuse me.
3. They don't come in and sit down like someone who has good sense.
4. They come in here and strut around looking up and down the aisle like
someone should bow down to them.
5. They come in here wearing their sister's ear rings and their grandma's necklace.
6. They've got two or three German Shepherd dog hairs glued to their chest
7. They've got their pants hanging so low that the carpet is rubbing the pockets out.
8. And that's supposed to IMPRESS a bunch of Assembly of God church people???
9. Young lady, is that your boyfriend?
10. You hang out with him and you wonder why your parents don't trust you?
11. Hello? Is anybody home in there?
C. THE FLIRT COMES TO CHURCH
1. We have these girls who come here wearing HAND-ME-UPS!
2. I'm serious, they don't have HAND-ME-DOWNS, they have HAND-ME-UPS!
3. When LITTLE SISTER outgrows it, BIG SISTER WEARS IT!
4. They wear their pants so tight that if one thread breaks, the whole thing is going to blow!
5. They strut around and wiggle their little bottoms as though they wanted someone to
follow them to the motel for a trick.
6. Some of them don't even have a clue!
7. They are just dressing LIKE THEIR FRIENDS!
8. Young man, is that your girlfriend?
9. You hang out with her and then you wonder what's wrong with your spiritual life?
10. You used to have the glory of God all over you!
11. You used to have a countenance that shined with the joy of the Lord!
12. Now you come in here and stand around like a bunch of cheerleaders at a car wreck!
VI. I'M NOT SAYING THAT ALL FRIENDS ARE BAD
A. WE NEED FRIENDS
1. We need friends who will encourage us to do right!
2. We need friends who will pray for us!
3. We need friends who will remind us of what the Bible says about our sin!
4. We need friends who will act like good Christian people when they are around us!
B. WE NEED THE RIGHT KIND OF INFLUENCE
1. This is one of the reasons why we need the church.
2. We come here to fellowship with those of like precious faith and practice.
3. We come to share our love for Jesus with one another.
VII. OUR BEST FRIEND IS JESUS
A. THEY BEAT HIM
They beat him until the skin ripped off of his back!
B. THEY PUT A CROWN OF THORNS ON HIS HEAD
They used branches from a Russian Olive tree with those long thorns to make him a crown.
Then they drove it down onto his head forcing those thorns into his scalp.
C. THEY FORCED HIM TO CARRY AN OLD RUGGED CROSS
They forced him to carry his own tool of death.
When he fell beneath the load, the had Simon the Cyrenean carry it for him.
D. THEY CRUCIFIED HIM ON THAT CROSS
They stretched out His sinless hands and drove huge nails through his flesh and into the timbers.
E. THEY PIERCED HIS SIDE
After he had hung on that cross bleeding in shame as a spectacle to the city of Jerusalem.
A soldier drove a spear into His side and pierced his heart.
F. HE SUFFERED BECAUSE HE
IS MY FRIEND
What a friend we have in Jesus, All our sins and griefs to bear
What a privilege to carry, Everything to God in prayer.
Have we trials and temptations, Is there trouble anywhere?
We should never be discouraged, Take it to the Lord in prayer!